You probably already know what this is about...

Of course, it's about Olivia. I can't get her off my mind today. She has been slipping into my thoughts non-stop since about 11:30pm last night. Ryan and I laid in bed last night and held hands and just prayed God's will for her life. I want so bad to just pray "Jesus heal her now," because of course he could do that, but I keep thinking of what 1 John 4:18 says. It's a random little verse. Just a tiny tidbit of God's word that I've read over a million times. Is says "Perfect love casts out fear." God's love for each of us is the only truly perfect love. Our human love always falls short. I don't love my kids or my husband perfectly. I might love them perfectly for a moment, but then my selfishness and sin gets in the way and things get messed up. But God's love is perfect. God's love for Olivia is perfect. He loves her more than anyone and when I begin to get my mind around that...when I begin to understand how deeply He loves her and that his love is perfect, then I begin to relax a little. The fear begins to subside. As much as my heart aches, as much as my spirit feels broken, I know that God has Olivia's best interests in mind. I know that His love for her is incomprehensible and that I can trust Him because He loves her so much. Does all that make sense? I hope so because it brought me such comfort.

A few weeks ago our Pastor did a sermon on Heaven (click here to download and listen to it. It's the sermon dated March 29th) and I was sitting there hearing things about Heaven that I had never heard before. I found myself wondering how I had lived for 31 years and didn't know this stuff. So after hearing that sermon I started reading the book "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. It is soooo good. It's definitely NOT light reading. It's 100% based on scripture, so there is a lot of scripture references in it. It's sort of like a textbook on Heaven. I'm not much of a non-fiction reader so I haven't finished it and if you ask me in a month if I've finished it the answer will probably be "no." BUT I have learned so much. So many good things. God has revealed so much to us in His word about what life will be like in Heaven, I've just never paid much attention.

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So here's one little tidbit of what I learned.
Heaven will be familiar.
Basically what that means is that Heaven will not feel like some out of body, floating on clouds, angels playing harps experience. In Heaven there is no fear, no tears, no pain, no anxiety, no worry, no uneasiness, no bad anything. When we get to Heaven it will be as familiar to us as our own home. It will feel like coming home. Jesus told his disciples before he went up to Heaven that he was going to prepare a place for them. Jesus is preparing a place for those who believe in him right now. So when I get to Heaven I will see people I know, I will recognize Jesus, I will know my way around, I won't have any fear or wants or worries. I will be comfortable in the place that God created just for me. I don't understand how it all works, but I do know that those who have gone before us are having the time of their lives. They don't want to come back here. They aren't longing for us here on earth, they just can't wait for us to join them in Heaven.

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So whether Olivia gets to experience Heaven in 2 days, 2 years, 2 decades or even longer, I know that she will be thrilled to be there. I know that she will be just fine. And those of us left behind will miss her and long for her everyday of our lives until we get to join her for eternity. I wish with all my heart that Zac and Julie didn't have to walk this road. I hate it. It stinks. But God is still good. And He loves Olivia.