I paused at the computer and saw the news.
A massacre at an elementary school.
For the past 3 hours I haven't been able to think of anything else.
I have cried and called out to God for hours now.
Evil never makes sense.
Our minds can not even fathom just how evil Satan is....but today we got a glimpse.
The news media will spend the next few weeks analyzing this situation and the "why" of it all.
The Bible tells us that Satan comes to steal, to kill and to destroy.
I'm sure they won't be talking about Satan...but he is the reason why.
So what do we take from this?
How do we respond?
My first instinct was to go get Christian from school.
I think that's just a mother's instinct. You want to know that your child is okay.
But then what?
Do I pull him out of school for fear of this happening here?
Do I teach him what to do when he hears shooting? (and scare him to death)
Do I petition our school board for metal detectors and armed guards?
How do we respond to something like this?
Fear is not the answer. "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind."
Homeschooling Christian so this will never happen to him isn't the answer.
In fact, although I have thought about it, it's irrational to think that you can protect your child at all times.
This could happen anywhere....the mall, the ball field, church....
When my babies were little, Ryan and I stood before our church and dedicated them back to the Lord. We recognize that they are gifts from Him and that they really belong to Him. My job is to do the best I can to protect my kids and teach them about Jesus, but they don't belong to me.
We are called to love people and to share the good news of Jesus with everyone. That means that we can't live in a bubble. We can't sit in our homes and lock our doors. We have to be a light in this dark world. This world needs the light of Jesus.
So right now, with tears streaming down my face, I'm praying with a shattered heart for the families who lost their precious babies today. I'm begging the Lord to be near to the broken hearted... To pour his Grace and comfort into the hearts of the hurting. And I'm praying that Jesus will take the memory of these horrific moments out of the minds of the innocent children who witnessed more than their little eyes should ever see.
I'm praying for wisdom to know how to address this with Christian. I've already decided that we will talk about it. I would rather him hear about it from me then hear about it on the bus or on the playground. Lord give me wisdom to know just what to say without instilling fear in his heart.
And I'm praying for each of you too. As you hug your kiddos this afternoon. I know your heart is broken too and your mind is screaming "why?" Take a deep breath and keep doing your best to teach your kids about how much Jesus loves them.
"Trust in the Lord with all your hearts, Lean not on your own understanding.." Prov.3:5